Dementia - A valid state of being.

When my son was diagnosed with dyslexia very early on I saw no shame in it and told him that he should be clear with people what his problems were. His dyslexia was diagnosed as being both visual and auditory and as such he was faced with the prospect learning the English language ‘parrot fashion’. But I was also clear with him that he shouldn’t lean into it as an excuse, that there would be things that he was good at that others wouldn’t be able to do, and I was proved right, just one example was when his little local village primary school started swimming lessons, he could already swim like a fish while others couldn’t. Seeing the wonder in his eyes and the jump in confidence afterwards was so rewarding.

I just saw his dyslexia as a state of being, as equal to any other, that he had to learn to live with and proactively seek support when he knew it was necessary. I see dementia similarly, as a state of being, and when my Dad was on his dementia journey I tried to accept that his state of being was not only different, but changing, sometimes rapidly, but I felt that his sense of self was as valid as at any other time in his life. I tried to look for what we could do and not mourn what we could no longer do. This mindset helped us experience moments and togetherness even when he didn't know who I was, These experiences are the basis for Timeless Presents, to share what we learnt with others on the same journey.